Tuesday, November 06, 2007

APOLOGIA
The homework swallowed the dog
and I left my burdened wallet
in my other life, in my other car,
which is a Soyuz, Russian
in only the ways that matter.
And what those ways are,
well, I forget. It is a good thing
the constellation of atoms
you recognize as me
has not yet sought to diverge,
to divorce itself
from this idea I keep having
about being alive. That:
it’s lucky my lungs fill up with air
each morning like little
buckets brought to the pebbled rim of the river
by a girl who thinks
about devotion
the slow way back to everyone,
to endless thirst.
And that girl is you,
though you’ll bristle
at the very notion,
and rightly so:
what sense does it make to speak
of heartbreak
for even a moment
in this world cluttered as it is with warehouses
of cheap peanut butter,
skinned with little puddles of oil,
what sense does it make
to ask you
why I am constantly dreaming I’m late
to your life? What sense
is there anywhere?
In what tree sings the bird
to which I spent all spring
teaching it the mimicry
of your sweet laugh,
but not the burr of your anger,
like a stone,
like a blade,
and not the worried ways of your tired voice.
It’s late again
and the moon
teaches me stealth
and borrowed light
and lowered gravity
and before sleep floats me afar on its dreamless river,
let me say
my apologies
like a prayer,
to you,
let me miss you as long as I’m alive.


Paul Guest (of course)

4 comments:

Chicky Wang said...

Oh I read that a couple weeks ago in the original format and wow, holy wow.

a-smk said...

This one was an old online one, so I've no doubt the book's is different. I just ordered the book. (Pre-orders with my bank acct. are dangerous things.)

I should teach it soon.

Chicky Wang said...

Oop, the "original format" I was thinking about the "old on-line one" are actually the same thing. I'm jealous of your book buying. I must go do somma that.

a-smk said...

Oh, I did get your email BTW Darling One, I will w/b as soon as I turn to email again. We will always be okay. It's just a bad storm now and a pity, besides.