Teaching all summer and gratefully-so but the days are gone before I know it and the things I meant to do gone with them. A special stolen afternoon with dear Les and the laughter from that and her good brain and heart and the wonderful "buddha bowl" of my old north star made an unexpected treat of the afternoon. Sad began it, her worries and devotion over her dearest friend, but the time itself was good I think, and I was grateful for it. Tomorrow I meant to Yellow Springs, to watch a movie in the art theater there but I may just meander here, make some time for the pool, pack some boxes, get my life into a portable mode.
Tonight I am enjoying the few minutes before I turn in and the last few weeks in this place and in my own place, too. We're off to new adventures. My adventure is the "we" of it and the address, and the house or the symbolic commitments to a place, a set of walls, a bunch of what humans do to say "permanence" while the seasons and the gods laugh. But aren't we pretty to think so? And aren't we beautiful in our attempts? In the face of so much that says no, not bloody likely, as my beloved-boy would say, we say, "if you don't mind, I'll try just the same."
I mean, I believe in the goings-ahead and I am thrilled to be up to the task for the first real time in say, nine years. I am excited to have a yard where what I plant grows and what gets buried can be decorated with my homegrown flowers. I am happy for all that has had to change and be grown and buried to make this new now possible.
Echoing Canto of Fixedness
The effort made by stars
to move for us is massive:
from our fixed point
looking up through crevice
or canyon, at the vast and intricate
patterning, appraising
from a cleared or blank space,
is frightening. `Miracle'
of tawny frogmouth,
aesthetic as torn wood
in its belying swoop, distending
mouth swallowing pinpricks
of gnat-light, is nudged
aside, or magnified if waxing
spirits move the display,
intensity of mortality,
to account for fireworks:
intertexts and skyshow.
Copyright © 2010 John Kinsella All rights reserved
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