Sunday, June 21, 2009

Found a friend's blog and was reminded of what I told myself the beginning of this year and how lately, I have been reminded that getting what one wants is one thing, knowing about the care and feeding of it is another.
Something happy-making happened and it was so good for me. I am determined to be good for this sort of thing, and the next few weeks and this summer schedule are all going to be devoted to finding my way to that, to finishing the novel's first fifty and sending out my new story, to getting the gym schedule solid again and with yoga and trying very hard to learn from my losses.

I am posting the poem I most need to remember right now. It is, admittedly, repost, but I need it--(like diaquiri ice and movie nights of late and so much that I had, not long ago and deeply-cherished but not well enough or correctly)--close at hand.


Some who are uncertain compel me. They fear
The Ace of Spades. They fear
Love offered suddenly, turning from the
Sweet with decision. And they distrust
The fireworks by the lakeside, first the spuft,
Then the coloured lights, rising.
Tentative, hesitant, doubtful, they consume
Greedily Caesar at the prow returning,
Locked in the stone of his act and office.
While the brass band brightly bursts over the water
They stand in the crowd lining the shore
Aware of the water beneath Him. They know it.
Their eyes
Are haunted by water.

Disturb me, compel me. It is not true
That ‘no man is happy,’ but that is not
The sense which guides you. If we are
Unfinished (we are, unless hope is a bad dream),
You are exact. You tug my sleeve
Before I speak, with a shadow’s friendship,
And I remember that we who move
Are moved by clouds that darken midnight.

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