Friday, January 08, 2010

Oh the Ways We Deceive Ourselves

I need to work on the Vietnamese Children's Art poem for Wick. I have a start, and two pieces selected to write on, if only I could finish one.

But for the moment, with a tiny imagined audience, I'll post a piece of Season here.
In the background Cohen--low enough so his lyrics don't tangle up in mine. I've forced myself to move the Jim White because I will do as I do with most things--gorge until sick of it. Ask Ryan Adams about our two solid week affair. Then the months of his other cds. Ask Bonnie Prince Billie or seriously, the Old 97s--I have left (in Cher's words of Moonstruck) not even the skin on their bones. The Gear Daddies, Martha Wainwright, everything Laura Kasischke and Melanie Rae Thon have ever begun to write. (One lovely memory of Fellner and I waiting for Barnes & Noble in Birmingham to get those first copies out of Sweethearts. We lived fifty miles away and made an event of getting there, buying the books--full price, hard copy and dining in the city with our fresh copies in tow.) I liked how theme-day and how pump-up-the-drama of that kind of thing he could join me in. Fellner and I have many other memories where his partner, Phil, wanted to forbid us to ever play together again. But this childishness we shared on that bright day was one of my favorite Bama flashbacks.

A tiny Season before I finish that poem, head out for supplies, and make myself shed the laziness that I've been donning day after day this winter break.

The ruined cities inside. Where something lived once and where now nothing can live anymore. I was always looking for the girl that got away as a means of tracking the moment when Main Street filled with broken glass and debris, but with Sam, it was his racing years that occupied the last large love that ever resided inside him. I was relieved, actually. Though I'd taken care to dismantle my cities, to not let anything fill me that was inhabitable, I had left space just in time for Sam. After Sam, he was the city, that city and it's hard to build a city on the steel and wooden skeleton of a city brought down.

No comments: